Lesson Learned

Tugboat and I are so grateful for all the kind wishes in response to us finally finishing up our case. We are only just beginning to exhale.

Of course we can’t completely fix Tugboat’s physical problems, but at least the medical care he gets is within our control. I’m actually giddy at the thought of going to his doctor and getting all the different rehab referrals he needs. I’m ecstatic that we know how to proceed with his continued pelvic pain and have a top New York doctor at the ready. I’m desperate to go line-up an expert trainer for him (and me!). Our main goal now is to halt the degeneration that has picked up so much speed of late.

I can’t begin to explain how freeing it is to KNOW that nobody is following us. To know that nobody will hold it against us if Tugboat carries the diaper bag, holds his son or pushes a stroller.

Being here these last few weeks has also taught me a few things about myself. I learned that I still love Brooklyn. But, I know now that what stands between my old Brooklyn utopia and everything else is so frustrating, irritating and generally unnecessary. I see now that living away has given me an easier, slower and longer life. While I still mourn the childhood my kids would have here, I see clearly the drawbacks of that childhood.

This lesson, this new truth, is that I can’t wait to go home. To Maine.

And so, this blog has served its purpose. I have made peace with leaving New York. I have transitioned, finally, to my life in Portland.

I’ll be closing the site down soon and re-formulating under a different name and mission. Let me know in comments or via email if you’d like to be notified when I re-surface.

I can’t thank you enough for your support and friendship over the last two years. I don’t know how I would have gotten here without this place and the people who visited.

Madge XO

See you later, City Girl.

Comments

[Divrchk]

I've only started reading you but I love your writing and your stories. I would love to follow you when you start up again, so please let me know. Congratulations on your settlement and on being able to breathe again.

[Becky]

What a long journey this has been for your family! I've never left a comment before but have thought about you and checked for updates on the trial. Congratulations on being able to start a new chapter of your life from a place of peace and confidence that your needs will be met. Please let us know when you start to post again.

[Donna Lee]

i have tears in my eyes. spoke to ringer this AM and filled him in. we are all sending you congrats and much love after all of these crazy, sad, hard, funny, silly, and of course, friendship filled, years.

[Dawn]

Sweetie,

I always suspected that New England would win you over. We are like a fungus, slow moving...but all encompassing. And it is no shock that this has mirrored your change from a single city girl to Wife and mama of two bambinos.

Keep me up to date, as we have a date with unripened cheese and wine in our future.

[Suebob]

I feel like I have "known" you forever. When I found your blog, there was just the Bird, with no one else on the way.

Congrats on closing this chapter of your life and starting anew. I look forward to reading the new, reformulated, Madge.

[mothergoosemouse]

It's still amazing to me that it's resolved. I can only imagine how it feels for you and Tugboat.

You already know that you'd better not leave me hanging. Please keep me posted on your whereabouts.

[Lori]

Please do let me know when you get started up again -- and I'll hope to meet you at the playground next time the Beaner and I are in Portland! Best of luck with the new life plan. It must be exciting and disorienting all at once to have the focus shift so dramatically!

[Kim]

Your journey has been inspiring and I look forward to the continuation of your story. I grew up in Maine but left. I suspect if I ever went back to Portland for more than a few days I would not want to leave. So I read you instead. Please add me to the list of people to notify when you are blogging again.

[Caroline]

Wow. I am actually a smidge surprised - I thought the bagels would win you right back over in a New York minute (oh, I slay me). And please keep me in the loop. You gotta keep blogging!

[Laurie]

I'm so happy for your family. Add me to the list of people who want to read your blog! And thanks for sharing . . .

[velocibadgergirl]

I would definitely like to tag along in the next chapter of your life, if you'll have me.

Congratulations again on the settlement!

[heather]

This is the first comment I've ever left for anybody. I recently discovered your blog and have been keeping with the trial. Please keep me posted when you transition to the next chapter.

[Heidi]

I'm so glad this whole thing is behind you! Congrats again.

And I have to admit, when I started reading the sentence about the blog doing what it was supposed to do, I got a knot in my stomach thinking that your blogging career was ending and you were going to go on with your life without the rest of us.

I almost started to cry!

I mean, my GOD, I've been reading you since you started this site. I was terrified that you were going to break up with the internet and I'd never know what happened to all of you.

(Ok, I would have emailed, but still.)

Anyhoo, I'm so glad you're not falling off the face of the earth. And by all means, please let me know where you turn up next.

I'm slightly addicted.

[theotherbear]

I'm really glad for you that it's all over - and would love to keep up to date with your next journey.

[Heather]

When you said that this blog has served its purpose, I also began to well up--please, please let me tag along for the next blog! I've posted many times in response to your wonderful writing about my own transition out of NYC to the burbs of Hartford, CT. I feel like I've gone on that journey with you in so many ways. That picture of you and The Boy in the Bjorn makes me miss the girl I was as a new mom with my first, plowing through the streets, dragging my stroller and groceries up 3 flights to our apartment, hanging out in Central Park with my mom friends...Change is hard, but it can be good.

I realized that CT was my home now as well while driving (inching) along the Deegan after a family party that took 5 (should have been 2!) hours to get home from. After 13 years of living in the city and avoiding the hell that is the day of the Puerto Rican Day Parade, the 4 of us had the pleasure of experiencing Seinfeld's very apt portrayal of the nightmare. AND there was a Yankee game getting out, to boot! Oh lordy, did I ever long for the quiet and the garden and the boys playing in the backyard in the sprinkler and the no traffic and the knowing that when we got home, we would pull into our driveway and head into the house together, instead of David dropping us to then drive in circles for hours to find a parking spot...

I'm happy for you that you can move on knowing that Tugboat will get the care he needs and deserves. I look forward to reading about the ways in which your life, your marriage and the lives of The Bird and The Boy are made all the better by that comfort.

[Woman with Kids]

Can't wait to see y'all on the next chapter in your lives!

[Mitzi]

Hi-
I am extremely happy for you and your family. I hope your life will be less stressful now and Tugboat's pain will be reduced. I definitely want to know when and where you resurface. Thanks.

[Marcia]

I was hoping Maine would pull ahead in the contest and I'm please you have been able to grow and love here in Maine. Every place has its drawback, when I lived in Vermont, I so missed the ocean, it's part of me and I never realized how happy I was until I moved back to Maine 5 years ago.

Enjoy the new-found freedom, revel in it and don't forget to let me know where you resurface.

Marcia

[Jess]

Oh, Madge, my bestest cyber friend. I am so happy for you. You know I'm tagging along for the long haul.

[Lindsay]

As a misplaced New Yorker (alright Long Islander -- complete with big hair, you caught me!) who is now living in New England, your blog made me laugh and made me wish only the best for you and your family. Please keep me updated as you embark on your new blogging journey. Congrats on the ending of your trial and congrats on finding a home in Maine.

Cheers!

[elizabetht]

Oh, man.. congratulations on your settlement! I have been following your story for a while now, and I find it so inspiring, and I'm so glad that you have your happy ending now. I'd love to hear when you resurface - I think you're a truly wonderful writer.

[mel from charm city]

so very happy for you and your family that you can finally begin the next chapter of your lives. all the best to you and please add me to the list of readers for your next project!

[Andrea]

I've only just started reading your site, but I love your sense of humor and writing style. I would be lying if I said I haven't been touched by you and your strength to get through such rough times. Congratulations on your settlement and on being able to move on!

I think I would seriously be missing out on a great writer and storyteller if I didn't ask to tag along when you resurface. My best to you and your family.

[jessie]

I know I haven't left a lot of comments, but I have read every single one of your entries and would love to be notified when you move to a new blog.

[stephanie]

glad to hear you are more at peace. you are a very talented writer-- funny, insightful.
would love to know what you do next.